I haven’t been writing as much as I use to or as much as I would like to. Yesterday, I put my son on a plane headed to the East coast (thousands of miles away) for a 5 day educational tour with his school. The minute I let him go, my stomach was in knots. I didn’t sleep well. I woke up feeling uneasy. So, I decided I must write.
In almost 14 years, I have never had more than 3 days by myself (4th grade school trip was for 3 days) and he’s never been farther than driving distance. Part of me feels like these 5 days will be well deserved moments of “do-nothingness”. The other part of me feels shame for feeling like I might enjoy this time alone. Let me reiterate, it’s been 14 years.
Before he left I gave him every bit of travel knowledge I had, but I am fully aware that HE WILL DO WHATEVER HE WILL DO. So, mentally, I give in and revert to what should have been my first move, prayer. Don’t get me wrong, as a parent, I PRAY EVERY DAY. Prayer is my only solace, and I am working on being completely at ease with it. I am trying not to let tidbits of worry seep in.
Even though it has been 15 hours since I dropped my son off at the airport, I have not heard from him (not a call, not a text, nothing). Should he have known to text me once they landed? It would have been nice, but he’s 13 and I am thousands of miles detached from his brain, so I pray.
This morning my Chow-Lab did his usual routine of walking to my son’s room, but it was empty. He searched the living room, empty. He searched the office, empty. He finally gave up and plopped down in front of my son’s bedroom door. I guess that’s where he’ll be spending the next 5 days. He shares my emotions. We both miss “the boy”.
I pray for his safety. I pray for his comfort. I pray that everything that I have taught him, over the past almost 14 years, sticks. I pray that he enjoys every bit of his trip. I pray that he learns something spectacular. I pray that he feels blessed. I pray that he feels loved. I pray that he is knowledge, love, and blessing for others to see. I pray that he returns home safely.
Bottom line, I pray.
Peace & Blessings