The Birds, The Bees, and The 1% Factor: “I Wasn’t Planned?”
Weeks ago, I decided to have the “birds and bees” conversation with my son. It began with me laying out the basics and my son (embarrassed and bashful) cutting me off and telling me (over and over), “I learned that in school already” or “I already know that.” So, the conversation veered into hormones that make bad ideas seem good, and the true and not so true facts behind those amazing “pubescent tales” and fantastic do’s and dont’s of birth control. He was equally embarrassed and bashful of the twist that the conversation had taken, but it didn’t take long for me to pique his curiosity and he began to listen intently.
Seeing that I had his complete attention, and thinking that this may be my only chance to get some real facts in, I began telling him about the 1% factor in birth control and that abstinence is the only 100% method. I explained that even though 1% is an extremely low percentage, it is a fact that should not be ignored; especially since, he too, falls in the 1% equation.
He looked at me with wide eyes and said, “I wasn’t planned?” In that split second, I decided the truth would, ultimately, be better than telling a lie just to make him feel better. I put my arms around him and said, “I couldn’t have planned anyone as perfect as you are.”
I continued to explain that there are MANY 1% people in the world (some know it and some don’t), but it is my belief that if a person doesn’t know how possible it is to be in the 1% rank, then they may end up behaving as if it could never happen to them.
I don’t know if that was my first and last opportunity to get this critical information to my son, but I hope it is information that will stick with him forever.
Was it TMI for an 11-year-old who is going through early puberty? Well, when I see how interested he is in girls these days, I think not. Every day, when I pick him up from school, I see how aggressive these girls are in middle school, and it blows my mind. However, the final reasoning behind my decision to tell is my memories of my Junior High years (ages 12-14).
Yes, I remember the school video, but most of all, I remember “Spin the Bottle” and “Truth or Dare” plus a few other games. So, was it too much information or mandatory information? I think every parent has to decide on their own, but as a single mother raising a boy, I need only to reflect back to my own youthful years to know that I should not shy away from feeding him important knowledge, even if it isn’t ideal.
Peace & Blessings —{-@
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