Hours That I Will NEVER Get Back
A few days ago, I spent all day in court (7 hours) trying to get my son’s father to pay something/anything in child support to help with raising our son. Over the past 9 years, child Support Services has become his enabler, and I find myself continuously waiting for the next court date, and the next court date, and the next . . . you get the picture. My day in court was enough to make me want to commit myself! Seriously, it was long, tedious, and painful.
My son’s father has manipulated the child support system for years. With each lie that he tells, the court continues the date (which gives him enough time to come up with a bigger lie). Supposedly, the child support court process is for the betterment of the child, but after my recent experience, I find myself seriously doubting that.
Usually, I behave in a mature manner when I’m dealing with my son’s father, but it’s very difficult to keep my cool when I’m near someone who displays little to no concern towards our child. So, on my court day, I lost a little bit of my dignity. I didn’t go crazy, but as the hours kept drifting by, I couldn’t help thinking about how my son’s father has not offered financial or physical support and there I was, sitting next to him and listening to him tell, yet, another lie while trying to get out of supporting our child.
I have often said that financial support would be greatly appreciated, but being a physical presence in my son’s life would be the greatest plus that could out way everything else. I became so angry and worn out. I felt my calm being sucked away from me, and my dignity, rapidly, began to fade.
In the end, after all the time had been exhausted and tax payer’s dollars waisted, my ex’s ploy to get out of paying child support failed. He did get the ordered amount lowered, but it was only by about $80. The killer of this story is: The reason it wasn’t decreased even more was because he has spent LESS THAN 1/2% OF HIS TIME WITH HIS SON. DUHHHHH! Payments are set to begin in July. We will see.
I want to say that I did say a prayer before entering the courthouse and I prayed that the lies would not prevail. Somehow during my exhaustion, I forgot about Who’s hands I had placed this in and that’s when I got angry. The truth was, I had no control, and, ultimately, my prayers were answered. I am thankful, and I will work on letting go and letting God take care of me.
Wishing everyone peace and blessings.
It is SO hard to keep your cool in those situations. I have seen folks on either side manipulate the system and it is very frustrating. I’ve watched my husband go through this from the other side and it has always amazed me how the court affords him no credit for having paid child support continuously, without every missing a payment, and for always having his children at every possible opportunity. The tricks that have been played from the other side have been sickening at times. We are getting ready to go through another round, and like you, I have realized that I have to put it all in God’s hands. We can’t control the outcome.
Thanks Yankee Texan Mom. I’m sure it’s not pleasant on either side. It’s really too bad that it has to get that far. It is a blessing for your husband’s children that they get to spend time with BOTH parents. That is a plus. The children and their needs are what count most.