8/23/10 Dating / Child Support


I’d like to ask, whoever is reading this, a question.  When will it be okay for me to date again?  Up until recently, I just haven’t had the time.  Like I said before, if I’m not at work, my son is with me 24/7.  I’ve tried to date here and there, and yes, it was a total waste of time, but I really don’t think I put any effort into it either.  Why bother.  I haven’t met one man who wanted to do something with me AND my son, and that’s kind of sad.  It makes me chuckle when I see their look of panic because they think I want a father for my son.  The truth is, my wish is to meet someone who is self-sufficient and not looking for me to take care of them.  I’m not looking for a dependant, a provider, or a father.  I’m looking for adult companionship and, maybe, a little romance, but like I said before, my effort levels have fallen over the past few years.  Honestly, it just seems like too much work (of which I already have more than my share).  Some days I just figure I’ll wait until my son is off to college, and I’m a firm believer in “What will be, will be”.  To top things off, my son and I had a conversation a few days ago and I decided to weed out information from him, just to see how he felt about me dating.  I said something like, “I’d like to go out to dinner with a nice gentleman one day.”  He said, “Why?  We go out to dinner a lot.”  Hmmm.  Then I said, “What if I meet someone nice and we like to spend time together?”  He just stared at me.  That’s when I thought, “Houston, we have a problem.” 

Child Support

On another note.  I have battled child support issues for YEARS.  I can’t tell you how annoying, frustrating, aggravating, upsetting, ridiculous, outrageous, and unbelievable (just to keep it short), this entire process is.  I do believe it is just for the sake of employment, but not for the fulfilment of a child’s needs (if there is no government assistance that needs to be repaid).  That said, I decided to attend the rescheduled (twice continued) court date this morning (even though the notice said that the custodial parent’s attendance was not required).  Wow, where do I begin?  Let’s start with, everyone was super nice.  Then it all came tumbling down.  I was told that because of the budget, they are short-staffed.  They told me that he had ALL day to show up for his 8:30 a.m. court date today, and if he didn’t show, they’d probably just continue it to another date (now that’s a way to keep people employed.  Continuance, after continuance, after continuance . . . you get the picture).  He says he’s no longer employed, but I know and his friends know that he is, and if you ask him, he’ll just say, “Who told you that?”  So, the people at the court told me, there’s no manpower to prove that he is working, and because of that he is asking for the child support amount to be reduced.  REDUCED?  How atrocious (that’s one more word that I forgot to use earlier).  He want’s to reduce the amount from almost nothing (no secrets here, $359) to nothing (less than $359) which just isn’t reasonable in the state of California.  Did I mention the 23k in arrears?  OMG!!!  So,  all day, I’ve been out of sync.  Seriously, I mean really, really, “What’s next?”



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